are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I want to fling myself into the sun
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
