I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
