weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
