omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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