this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We got so high we made milksteak
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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