I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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