i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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