I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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