the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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