If i come over, it means nothing
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I want to be your penis for a week.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
