I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
