I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
vagina is talking i cant
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
