I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
