Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
