she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
