just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
