Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
