She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
