i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
