Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
