I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
