words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
