How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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