Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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