Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize