He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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