i jhust puked up my retainher.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
