Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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