Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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