She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i think i just lost a toe
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
