There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
