Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
