I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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