Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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