I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
