So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
