Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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