I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
