It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
