i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am naked and annoyed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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