you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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