I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
