yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
