We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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