I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize