this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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