Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
