In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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