Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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