i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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