just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is it penis luge time yet?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
