what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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