I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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