we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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