Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
