Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
