How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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