Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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