He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
