Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
