dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize