is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
