Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
