she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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